Look, nobody wants to say it out loud, but leave it to Maynard James Keenan to rip the Band-Aid off reality: it might take some literal modern miracles to get Ozzy Osbourne through his final live performance this July.
Yep, TOOL’s frontman—aka our favorite cerebral chaos wizard—recently admitted he’s “preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best” when it comes to the upcoming Back to the Beginning concert in Birmingham, England. And honestly? Same, Maynard. Same.
Ozzy hasn’t thrown down a full set since New Year’s Eve 2018, which, if you’re counting, is almost enough time to earn a college degree in waiting. Add Parkinson’s disease and a few back-to-back surgeries into the mix, and well… you get why Maynard’s feeling cautious about what we’ll actually see when the lights hit the stage.
Sure, Ozzy’s been bragging about doing “endurance training” and “waking up” his body, but let’s be real: this ain’t gonna be a backflip-off-the-amp kinda night. The Prince of Darkness has already warned he’s only planning to join Black Sabbath for “little bits and pieces,” which feels appropriately vague and a little terrifying.
The lineup for this blowout event is stacked like a rock and metal fever dream: Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, Alice in Chains, Halestorm, Gojira, Fred Durst (yes, really), Korn’s Jonathan Davis, Disturbed’s David Draiman, and even Sammy freakin’ Hagar are all booked to throw down. Rage Against the Machine’s Tom Morello will be the musical ringmaster, because of course he will.
Meanwhile, Keenan—who saw Ozzy in action (or, well, not so much action) at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremony last year—says he’s got serious doubts but feels honored to be part of the historic night. In his words, “I don’t know what kind of modern miracles we’ll come up with to get him on stage… but this is gonna be a challenge.”
Hey, if Elon Musk can land rockets backwards and Jeff Bezos can shoot a giant space dinghy into orbit, we’re betting somebody out there can figure out how to prop up Ozzy for a few verses of “Paranoid.” Rock gods, assemble.
And speaking of mind-blowing performances: TOOL absolutely crushed it when they hit the stage at Welcome to Rockville in Daytona Beach. Seriously, it was one of those spine-melting, universe-bending sets that reminded us why TOOL will forever be one of our all-time favorite bands. If you missed it… you owe your ears an apology.
By the way, if you want to win free tickets to this year’s Welcome to Rockville and keep up with the hottest shows in Daytona, Ormond, New Smyrna, and Flagler Beach — download the Static Live Music Calendar App now! We’re giving away tickets, and you don’t want to miss out!
