Lizzo, queen of the flute solos and self-love anthems, is now serving up a big plate of TBD. Remember that album she promised back in 2022, Love in Real Life? Yeah, apparently she doesn’t either. Instead, fans got a mixtape titled My Face Hurts From Smiling — which sounds less like an album and more like the aftermath of being stuck in a photo booth for three hours.
In her New York mag cover story, Lizzo explained why the album got shelved: “By 2025, I’ve changed, the world has changed, and so much has happened.” Translation: her singles flopped, lawsuits piled up, and the only thing left to change was the subject.
After sitting down with the big suits at Atlantic Records, she told them she needed to do things her way. They nodded along — probably because “Lizzo vs. the PR Disaster” is the kind of horror movie no label exec wants to star in.
And yes, she doubled down on those pesky lawsuits. According to Lizzo, her accusers are peddling nothing but “false allegations,” and one suit was a “publicity stunt.” Cute. Because when your wardrobe assistant accuses you of creating a hostile and racist workplace, it’s obviously just for the clicks, right? If irony were an Olympic sport, Lizzo just won gold.
Still, she insists she’s in a creative high: “Who cares if you don’t like it, b—h? I got 7,000 more songs.” Well, at least she’s prolific — even if most of us are stuck on “7,000 more lawsuits” instead.
Look, Lizzo can crank out as many mixtapes as she wants. Nobody’s saying she can’t make music. But if she wants the public to buy into her comeback tour, maybe start with something more solid than calling everyone else liars. Because right now, Love in Real Life feels like it belongs in the same category as Bigfoot sightings: fun to talk about, impossible to prove.
Meanwhile, if you want something that actually exists and doesn’t require a court date to validate, download the Static Live Music Calendar App. Serving Daytona Beach, Ormond, New Smyrna, and Flagler — and soon, new cities. Real shows. Real bands. Zero “publicity stunt” disclaimers.